The deer ate all our tomatoes.

I am distraught.

Sixty tomato plants, lovingly grown from seeds started in our basement. All with lots of flowers and pretty little tomatoes, wiped out, within days. I moved to the city to get away from the flippin' deer. They never bothered with tomatoes up in Moultonborough; my family had been growing them for 40 years and nary a nibble. I can't believe that a deer could wipe out a whole crop, the Romas, the Beefsteak, the cherry tomatoes....even the two huge hippie tomato plants grown (accidentally, I'm sure) from a package of marjoram seeds from the health food store. Gone.

I'm sure it's the stupid beast in the photo below. Sure, it was cute then, munching on the hosta. What do I care, I can't make bacon, lettuce and hosta sandwiches.

I'm getting a dog. No, a wolf. No, a pack of wolves. No, a Bradley assault vehicle. Who am I kidding? I can't even shoot the damned thing - I live in the city.